Drunken Cow

Time for something fun and light-hearted.


Since I couldn’t upload a pic of a cow, here’s an old one of two steers. 🙂

The first time my parents had a dairy farm I was about 10-12 years old. Let me just say, country people have adventures. I look back over all the crazy stuff we did as kids, and it was nothing to what my parents did when they were kids. But this story isn’t so much adventurous as it was funny.

One night, my mom was trying to milk a new cow. The cow was a dark Jersey with white splotches here and there. She might have been a heifer, first time milker, but mostly she was ornery, and if we couldn’t get her to let her milk down, she could get milk fever which could kill her. So, this was serious stuff.

This cow, we called her Oreo, was jumping all over the place and kicking. My mom had the “kicker” on her, so she wouldn’t kick us, but she wasn’t having none of it. So my mom told me to go get a butter dish and put some brandy in it. Now, when I think back to that night, we never had fake butter, so why would we have a butter dish? Anyways, I went in the house and found a cool whip container. I was generous with the brandy, not sure what mom was going to use it for. When I brought her the half-full cool whip container, she told me to mix it into the grain and give it to Oreo. Okay. So I did that.

Who knows how much time went by. We had other cows to milk. Now at this age, I don’t remember exactly what my chores were except feeding the cows, maybe I was going before her and washing them, but I wasn’t milking them yet.

Anyways, Oreo started leaning against her stall, and her milk was just gushing out of her udder. My mom ran over there trying to get her milked, just enough for the calf. Then Oreo started weaving on her feet. My mom yanked the kicker off just as Oreo flopped on the ground with the milking unit still attached to her. 

Mom cleaned her up and asked me how much brandy I had given her. I showed her the cool whip container. Yeah. Oops.

Have you had a fun/crazy experience when you were a kid or as adult where you look back and say, whoops? Please share! 🙂


4 thoughts on “Drunken Cow

  1. No stories from childhood are coming to mind, but I have a great picture you could have used, of a black and white cow staring right into our windshield as she stood in the middle of the road in Ireland! 🙂

    • There was the time my brother’s mother-in-law gave half a Valium to her hyper black Lab. Uh, not so hyper after awhile. But still running into things, as he staggered around. Poor thing!

      • J. L. Mbewe says:

        Hey Kassandra, that would have been an awesome picture! And the poor dog! Ha! I can’t remember if we’ve give anything strange to the animals, except garlic to the cows when they were sick or something. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

  2. Giggles! Funny story!!! Still giggling imaging Oreo flopping over with the milking unit still attached to her! Lol!!!

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